Mysterious Musings: Pain on the Spiritual Path

“BE KIND, FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A HARD BATTLE”

-Ian Maclaren

hello beautiful souls, Jas here. I’m so grateful & humbled to be able to share this new serious with you all. Over the years on our journey, Alex and I have truly found solace in the stories that others have generously shared with us. They have had their way with us. Opening and allowing us to let ease down the invisible guard we all carry around with us. Creating that valid space to see one another as self. I have no words, but I’m so excited to share with you all this week’s Mysterious Musings from a gentle soul who so bravely wanted to share with us. Our deepest desire is that it will awaken your strength and perseverance for the love you deserve!

-Jas


LOVE: The Catalyst for Awakening

From a very young age, I knew that the life I was experiencing was different. I was aware that my perspective on how everything worked in this world was different. However, I didn’t know how to explain it and I truly didn’t even realize there was something to explain. I was very attuned to various energy levels. I could be around someone and know that I didn’t want to be around them again. But how can you explain to your parents why you can’t be around certain family members, why you don’t feel comfortable in church or why the things they say really bother you? As a child, you really can’t.

That feeling continues to live within you. For me, it was the catalyst for feelings of separation from those around me. It was the foundation to my identity crisis. I wasn’t ever really sure why I felt different, why I felt like I knew more than the average person around me. I was raised by a very religious family who believed if you didn’t believe in God/Jesus Christ, you were doomed. So, basically my family was telling me I was doomed my whole life.

I pretty much withdrew from the idea of being a Christian. When I was finally able to “live freely” in college, I labeled myself an Atheist. The story or God and his son, Jesus, never resonated with me. Once I removed myself from that religion, I thought I was free. What happened was something that really boggled my mind. I went through the darkest hour of my life during college. At some point, I started to believe that it was because I denounced Christianity. So, I thought “ok, wow. Maybe I was wrong. I guess my family was right. I’m doomed if I don’t believe in God the way they do.” To make this very long part of the story short, I gave the whole Christianity thing another try.

Years later, I found myself living and working in Thailand. This was when I began to look at life from a very different perspective. I was finding myself again. I realized I didn’t have to be Christian to be a good person. I didn’t have to believe in Jesus. I felt like I was becoming myself again, that little girl who knew there was more to the story.

I experienced my Spiritual Awakening after a breakup with my soulmate. It was a different kind of breakup. I met the love of my life towards the end of my stay in Thailand. The first time we spoke, I knew that I had known her all my life. I was aware that, at that moment, I had found the person I would spend the rest of my life with. She felt the same. It was a feeling that can’t be explained. It can only be felt.

The passion between us was something that was very overwhelming for her. It wasn’t until after my Spiritual Awakening that I would learn why. The breakup took all the life out of me. it wasn’t like any other break up, though. Yes, my heart was broken but it was deeper than that. It was the catalyst to my awakening.

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“Yes, my heart was broken but it was deeper than that. It was the catalyst to my awakening”

After months of crying, I began searching for answers because the breakup still wasn’t making sense to me. My intuition was begging me to dig deeper because I was soon to find all the answers. I then spent so much time looking into the spiritual meaning of soulmates, meditations, tarot readings, etc. Little by little, I was learning that I had so many unresolved childhood traumas, things I had to heal from and lower vibrational energies that I had to release.

The breakup with my soulmate allowed me to truly find my spiritual self again. I remember waking up on April 20, 2018 and everything was different. I had found the light. Life was perfect and everything was beautiful. The green trees were greener than I’d ever seen them. The blue sky was speaking to me. I was having conversations with the animals. I was vibrating so high! It was unbelievable. I cried my eyes out in the shower that day. I cried out to source energy because I had realized why I went through everything I went through. I knew that something had to break me sooooooo deeply that I would have no other choice but to dig deeper into my spirituality for answers.

I had my Spiritual Awakening April 20, 2018. Nothing has been the same since then.

I forgave my soulmate. Because another thing I realized and was awakened to was that we do belong together. We have loved each other for many lifetimes. But we could not continue our journey together during this physical lifetime unless we healed from past traumas. That breakup was the beginning of the healing. We had to do it separately.

I’ve since spent time focusing on myself, allowing myself to be triggered in order to heal from things I never knew I needed healing from. I still wake up looking at life differently and I can connect so much with that little girl who had no idea how to explain what she was feeling.

“It brings tears to my eyes because I realized that I am currently experiencing what I always knew to be true.”

My strength now is that I am one with my higher self, I am protected and constantly feel the energies of my spirit team.

Through this experience, I have learned how to truly love myself. I am everything and everything is me and the more love I have for myself, the more love I am able to give to others.

As the Universe, so my soul. I am a spiritual being living a human experience and that has been my biggest lesson.

-Anonymous